There is always so much going on, and if we’re not careful our esteem can take a hit – whether it’s the media, naysayers, self-sabotage or unhealthy relationships. What do you believe about yourself? Have you allowed someone to tell you who you are and who you are not?
How we see ourselves is important and is the basis of how we approach life. So when the feeling of unworthiness begins to creep in, low self-esteem can begin to eat away at your identity.
Identity damage/theft (not the of LifeLock variety) has become an epidemic. Following are some of the outgrowths of low self-esteem/identity damage:
Jealousy / envy
Inability to genuinely celebrate others
The need for the approval of other people
For me, I had a need to be needed and my personal prison included the façade of perfection.
From my journey, I can tell you what doesn’t work. My solution early on was moving from one state to another. I later realized a physical move didn’t address the issue because I was still the common denominator. If I didn’t deal with me, it didn’t matter if I was in the states or out of the country.
After having gone through heartbreak and surviving an alcohol-fueled, verbally abusive marriage, I had become a shell of myself.
I still had what I felt were empty spaces that I thought being married would fill. I continued to try to fit in these relationships that made no sense. I knew I didn’t fit, but was trying to put a square peg in a round hole.
Besides unhealthy relationships, real or perceived voids poise a myriad of dangers, including:
Fear- based decisions
A focus on what you don’t have and what you think you need
Vulnerability (Your defenses down and you’re not on alert)
An opening for others to nullify the good in your life
What to do? What to do?
Finally, I acknowledged my brokenness and, I actually asked God for help.
I acknowledged I was busy but not productive. I said God, I want to do what I’m supposed to do, but I don’t know how and don’t even know where to start.
That was the beginning of a major turning point in my life. I begin to have these conversations with God and was amazed at what transpired. I experienced calm, comfort, answers, warning, identity, and affirmation.
I learned to put down everything I thought I already knew. I was a huge know-it- all, but up until then, I thought the only way to learn was through books or someone physically teaching me.
After six months of these conversations with God, 26 years of hurt was lifted and I was suddenly free. Woo hoo! It was a great relief.
This also resulted in my freedom from the prison of perfection — which helped me to be a better Mom.
Well, I learned many lessons on my journey from low self-esteem. I recently had an opportunity to share at a women’s summit and thought I would share here.
I think one thing that can remain constant, if we’re so inclined, is that quiet time with God – we can make it part of our lifestyle. It helps keep you sane, balanced, and keeps your esteem in-tact.